Part one

The historians all missed it, but things went downhill after the invention of trousers, when we lost the sense of our being unquestionably born free. Here's how to reclaim it: strap on a Liberation Kilt!

"The kilt appears to endow the wearer with superpowers," says fashion critic Eric Musgrave, and centuries of peer-reviewed research proves it (MacAlpine 1806, MacTavish 1913, MacLean 1934, MacRae et al.1959, McDougall 1988).

Loftus McLeod of Skye was the first to put these superpowers to good use, founding the Liberation Kilt Company to fight 18th-century injustices. He even won the 1781 Disturber of the Peace Award.